Rebecca Jesty - Counsellor/Therapist near Reading, Wokingham, Bracknell and Maidenhead
Confidential counselling from a qualified counsellor/therapist can help you make sense of your life and find new ways forward. If you are looking for someone to help you understand your story, you can find further information on this site about my counselling approach.
I believe that if you are ready to explore your life as best you can, in your own words, you also have the potential to develop in new ways or to ease emotional pain. This isn't easy but it can be rewarding. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we are silent, sometimes we use drawings, pictures or toys to help identify what's going on. Counselling therapy is an individual process and takes a unique journey.
I work one to one with adults and also have worked as a counselling therapist for young people in a Reading school.
Working hours Weekdays apart from Tuesday (latest slot 1.30 pm). Evenings available (after 6.30 pm, latest slot 8.00 pm). Please check for availability.
- your generosity, non-judgemental listening heart and gentle guidance will never be forgotten
- I feel now that I wish I hadn't cut myself. Also, I know that my dad's violence wasn't my fault
- I have got myself back
- It's been really useful to talk to someone who is not in the situation
Example Case Studies
In order to maintain confidentiality these are fictitious clients but are based on past clients real experiences. I hope to give an idea of how the counselling journey might go.
Johanna, Reading (age 30)
Johanna came to a counsellor because she was experiencing very difficult feelings after having a medical termination. There was something wrong and she felt she couldn't cope with her normal life. Nobody seemed to understand. She was struggling to focus at work and loosing her temper with those close to her. She was deeply upset for the baby she wanted and lost and felt a mixture of sorrow, guilt and anger.
I worked with Johanna by listening to her story. She seemed to need to tell, in her own words, what had happened to her, what this did to her and how horrible it was. I encouraged her in a number of ways to explore the medical interventions and how they affected her important relationships, emotions and thoughts. Her experiences also impacted her Christian faith which was distressing because she usually found this to be a positive support in her life.
During counselling she discovered that she had believed that she was unsupported by her mum. We discussed what it might be like to talk with her mum and how she might go about it. It transpired that her mum communicated more support and understanding than she first thought and Johanna was able to reconnect with those she previously thought would reject her. She began to understand how her negative assumptions played a part in keeping her from connecting helpfully with important relationships.
She explored her anger and feelings of rage towards life and the unfairness of having to make a decision that she didn't really want to make. This helped her arrive in a place where she had more acceptance of the fact that we can't control certain aspects of life, she came to terms with feelings of helplessness and could more clearly see a way forward.
Importantly, Johanna had a place to admit to someone how much she loved and wanted the baby but knew she wouldn't survive. This loss of life, future hopes and a happy pregnancy impacted on both her and her partner. By working with her grief she was able to be more open with her partner and they experienced more closeness together in their pain and with less conflict.
She was able to admit her deep angry thoughts towards God and begin to see that forgiveness and release was a option for her if she chose to take it, that somehow God was with her in the pain and not against her. This made her feel more peaceful.
Lucia, Woodley (age 14)
Lucia was struggling with school and getting into trouble with some of her teachers. She felt no one understood her and she complained of bullying from other girls. She didn't want to discuss home life but needed help to stop cutting herself. She was nervous and angry but felt that counselling might help her feel better.
At first we got to know each other a bit. We used pictures, drawings and toy animals to map out her ideas of herself and the girls at school who she talked with. Over time she began to see that she had lots of important qualities such as loyalty, kindness and fun but that she often spent unhelpful time in conversations with others that made her feel low and angry.
We explored this new self-understanding and how she might connect well with others her age using self-assertive techniques. She began to see her own bullying behaviour and how this impacted on others. New ways of relating were practised.
As time went on she decided to talk about her family life and how she experienced this. She began to be more open and explore a variety of relationships at school that were more positive which also increased her self esteem.
Her cutting stopped and we discussed coping techniques and practices she could use when stress was high. By practising deep breathing and learning to relax. By working with a counsellor she came to learn that there were ways of taking some control over her life.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
What am I learning at the moment?
I am currently studying the phenomenon of forgiveness as a therapy intervention.
I have discovered what several major religions have asserted, that the act of forgiving can help set the forgiver free from negative emotions such as extreme anger, pain, and resentment. It potential involves both an act of our will, rationally chosen and is a gift primarily to ourselves.
Importantly I have discovered what forgiveness is not:
It does not mean that what happened was ok.
It does not mean that justice is avoided by the perpetrator.
It not not mean that hurt and pain will not need understanding and working through, we need to know what we are forgiving.
It does not mean that we are obliged or have to forgive -its a choice.
It does not mean that what happened is forgotten or unimportant.
It does not mean we are weak.
My private counselling practice is easily found in Woodley, close to Reading, Bracknell, Wokingham and Maidenhead. There is usually a driveway parking space available and no restrictions for parking on the road should this be unavailable. To contact me click here. Please include your telephone number and I will call you back to discuss your needs.